Heart Matters

I still look for your car sometimes

I know it's stupid, I know you're so far

I wake up in the night and reach for you

and sometimes in that moment between awake and asleep

where you're here in my dreams

I can smell you.

Feel the bed shift beneath the weight of you

I fight that moment with all of me,

willing myself to stay asleep

Because then maybe I wasn't only dreaming.

Sometimes I dream of a journey. A 2000 mile hike.

I wake up with sore feet

Awakening just as the door opens- a cruel joke.

We both have our problems, hurdles to overcome.

I know that I act crazy and I make things too hard sometimes

But I also know I'm right in feeling how I feel

You may still feel guilt, but the time for that is long gone.

I know there is something here. I feel it and I see it.

Try as I might, I can't get past it- instead, I'll just own it.

My love, for you is unrelenting, it is mine to feel and to give.

That is all I can do.

As long as I live.