Happenstance

I don't even have the words to say
You and I have been through so much
and yet- this is a lesson I cannot teach you
This is something you will learn, in time.
its gonna hurt like hell
and you will bleed uncontrollably
and you will call out for my help, for a hand to staunch the flow
and I will be there
Because that is the way of things
Because everyone will be gone
But if you asked me to, if you needed me to, I would be there
Even now
While my wounds are just barely closed
and my hands are just barely strong enough to hold myself together
I would be there
Because you would do the same, if I asked you to
Sometimes the end is just the beginning of the next chapter...

Tower

You've built these walls so high and so strong
You think they are impermeable.
I have been chipping away, diligently
in the hopes that it will be enough for you
to see that you don't need them anymore
you've been shielding yourself from pain
hiding away from feeling anything
anything close to regret
and anyone that you've met
has never come close
to being let in
But I got a glimpse
saw through the cracks
it did not faze me
All I want is to have that back
Give me a chance to be what you need
Because you deserve to be loved
You deserve to be seen.

Sight lines

What was once thought of as liberating
is now merely terrifying
Finding myself alone in the woods
Flying blind without a safety net
No one to care when things go wrong
No one to celebrate with when things are all right
I feel this solitude in my bones
I feel like I'm fading away
No one to be held accountable
No accountability to anyone else
I fear it's been too long
I am not who I was, and not who I was meant to be
I am something else
Clinging, desperate, needing more than anyone can handle
More than I can handle
and every night I fall apart
and every morning I curse the sky for opening my eyes.

Words of Wisdom from my still-beating heart...

Sometimes things don't work out like we think they will and all we can do is ride out the storm. One thing I have learned is to never count anyone out, regardless of the words they may say. Words can betray, eyes don't lie. I am more in touch with who I am and what I want to be in this world- but I know now that is ever changing. Learn to be more flexible with your ideas of what things should be, things will only ever be what they are. Be more accepting. This life will hand you incredible things if you accept them, no matter how foreign they might be to you. Never stop creating. Use your hands and your words or your paintbrush or clay, glass, or your love- but you must never stop. That is who you are at your core- you are a creator. You feel so deeply that your bones ache, you love with everything you've got, and sometimes you are a mess, but you are strong and you are adaptable and you will persevere.
You aren't the princess in this fairy tale anymore, sweetheart- you are the hero.
So when the nights are long, don't forget that you are bright enough to become the sun and radiate that beauty across the entire universe.

(This entry will be regularly updated as needed...)

What I wish I'd said

It may not have made much of a difference
But I'd like to think that if the conversations were more polished
In hindsight
They wouldn't hurt as much.