Homage

Breath and bone
Hands, mouths, skin
Hardened hearts and heaving breasts
The naked honesty of the moment
We both know this is not the way to be
That after this, things will be irrevocably altered
But instead, blinded by the electricity
Thrust into the abyss
with only each other
we are as we should be
if only for a night.

Deadbolt

I have a red door.
One you walk through
Again and again
Worn hinges
wooden sighs
and my red door silently
waits to open once more
to the possibility
that goodnight is not goodbye
and that closure is only a flimsy chain
instead of a deadbolt, that cannot be breached
by even the strongest amount of love.

Flames

Do not fret,
because it is often, for us all,
that within the time it takes you to take off your clothes
and wash yourself clean
inside there is a spark that is impossible to turn into a fire.

Some coals aren't meant to be stoked
but to be seen briefly
to subconsciously enhance our days
to warm hearts instead of hands
making us feel like our time isn't wasted.

In turn, our hands
and our hearts
are filled with the gasoline needed

To start a much brighter fire
with a strong foundation
to keep it burning
with minimal kindling, save for words.

(Now, where did I put my towel?)

Reflection

I have this vision of myself
as a cabaret singer
with no instrument beyond my limbs
plucking heartstrings instead of guitars
and singing of anothers ache
that is mirroring my own.

Reflecting every idiosyncrasy
In the anonymity of others words.

I am invisible
My feelings are no longer relevant.

I sing songs of joy,
jubilation, and the unconditional
with no first hand knowledge
of how it must feel
Except when the words
and the music
and the girl
blend so succinctly
into one.

Eclipse

She walks alone
Hand-in-hand with her shadow
Through all of the seasons
Through all of the storms
While darkness looms nearby
Silently waiting
For that perfect moment when the light is just right
And they are one.

Fragile Heart

My heart is composed of too many things
Seawater and whiskey
Promises and the horizon.

My heart is filled with too many faces,
They may as well be red blood cells
Filling with oxygen and running through veins
faster than I can consciously keep up with the rhythm

My heart is attached to too many things
The night sky, song lyrics
holding a lover through the dark, tumultuous storms.

And yet

My heart is as fragile as glass
Blown thin and perfect.
Cold and hollow
upon your mantle.

Not to be touched by anyone
You've staked your claim
And just like that

It becomes completely ornamental
Akin to a vase used only for the rarest flower.

My heart is full of old movies,
Full of people who have come and gone
Memories fading through time
Leaving a distinct trace of depth through moments
Etched upon the surface ever so delicately
While from day to day, it is simply gazed upon.

Marveled at its craftsmanship and ingenuity
My heart is itself a thing of beauty
but without love to fill the hollow
it is clearly empty.

Sea-Side

This is for the nonbelievers and the skeptics
For those who fight through their day, to be rewarded with solitude by night

This is for those who cannot help but intervene
Because caring is the most defining part of their nature

You are not alone

This is for those who cannot speak, but instead hold their tongues
in the hopes that there will be someone who can read the colors of thoughts.
Who can hear what is hidden without words .
To feel the emotions without speech.

This is for those who speak too much
Whose cacophonous nature is on their sleeves.
So much that they become invisible to those who tire of too much
Their words fall like dust.

This world is a dark place
and sometimes it seems like there is no end to the night
But if you let it, it will be your blanket
It will nurture the dawn from the blackest depths of your soul.

You may be held down
Your heart may break
But know that from that place blooms something so beautifully unbreakable
That eventually there is no way that you will not return from the brink.

You walk into the ocean and each wave makes you more sure
That this is the only place you want to be

And while you may not have a witness
Your presence
and your hands
are entwined with those before you

You are not alone,
You have never been alone.

Silencing the soul

Some days I feel restless
Like my soul is scratching at my skin
Trying to find a way out from the inside
Nothing can stop it
My hands shake
craving the rush of creation
like a drug
like one more kiss from a lover
like the moment before everything changes
Because everything can change
Colors, words, ideas, pour like a fountain
Giving your light to the world
and there is nothing else that matters more
Than your two hands
the moonlight
and the soul that has been silenced
By pouring it out slowly
Creating beauty from within
Because its something you cannot do without

Gamble...

You make it easy to fall
Your charming disposition, your handsome gaze
You make it hard to really know
Whats real or fake, fact from fiction
And I have grown tired of the game
The ambiguous nature of this display
The reckless abandon and all its madness
Yet I never know what there is to say
How do you look at me, what do you see?
Are you looking to save me?
You can't, there is no sense to the rescue.
I am not easily brought to conclusions
But it seems to me that this might be the thing
that we have both been needing.
If you could just stop living in the past
and put your trust in me
I will be gentle with your heart
as long as you are gentle with mine.

Testimony

I'm scared that the thing I want and the thing you are willing to give will never match up.
I'm terrified of the last time, where you leave this place
No looking back, just goodbye

There is a light in you that illuminates a part of me that I thought I lost
Laying next to you, rhythm of breath
Light on skin
You make it hard not to fall
and darling, I've been falling hard.

Like falling asleep. Slowly, then all at once.

I don't know if I am what you need
or even what you want
All I know is how I feel
and when I'm with you, I feel safe.
I feel like I'm home

That place has eluded me for so long
Yet you walk in the door, and I get it.
You terrify me in the best way possible.

I love you
and not in a friendly way
although I think we're great friends.

Intention (3/30/14)

We speak a lot of intentions. Expending energy into manifesting a specific goal in our lives or in the world around us. Currently, I have realized that my intention has been a bit fuzzy, thus making the manifestation a bit slow.
I want love
I want REAL love
Love that will sit me down, shut me up, and make me see the world differently.
Love that will sit under the sky with me and talk about distant galaxies
Love that will be there and hold me when things aren't perfect
(because things are never perfect)
Love that I have a real connection to
A point B to my point A
A harbor in the tempest
Love that will call me on my bullshit and will expect to be called on their own
I am tired of not good enoughs and let downs and never coming throughs
I'm through with the heartache and the fucked up fuck thems
Because if it was real, if it was good, and if it is time, it would just be.
No excuses
No middle of the night drunken apologies
No shame in the light of day
It will just be real.
And good
And true

Sonata

Spilling words like blood from vein

Flowing at an alarming rate

The theme remains the same

Even if I am simply 

Playing the same note over time

Maybe somewhere

Someone is hearing it

Hearing my note

To complete their song

Our serenade to the universe...

Possible

My apartment still feels more like a hotel room than home
and my hands feel like someone elses'
I walk through my days consumed by consumption
While time passes me by instead
I could be spending my life with purpose
Vision
There could be more than this
But instead
I sleep through it
Snooze the possibilities
and hide from the goodness
Inherent
In each day
If I'd just take a moment
To stop the distraction
and listen
The silence is deafening when you stop moving.

Endings

There is a funeral across the street

Steady stream of black clothing and hung heads

I wonder about the person inside

Wonder if any of the people really knew them

Wonder how long it will take to forget

And move on

Back to technicolor and smiles

Visions of a life not lived